How to Obliterate Your Fixed Mindset!

You Fixed Mindset Is Holding You Back!How to Obliterate your Fixed Mindset

Your Fixed Mindset will have you believing that your success, or failure is the result of your traits … traits that you were born with and can do nothing about.

If that’s your reality what do you do?

You AVOID!!

  • You avoid singing because someone said you can’t sing
  • You avoid anything creative because … you can’t …draw…paint…act…fill in the blank ______
  • You avoid people because you “aren’t good with people”
  • You can’t cook, garden, or do anything technical .. just because something went wrong in the past?
  • You aren’t good at study so you don’t
  • …The list goes on and on

The End Result? 

You seriously reduce your ability to meet your needs, live the life you want and be your best self.

A Growth Mindset vs a Fixed MindsetGrowth Mindset

  • A Fixed Mindset sees challenges as evidence of shortcomings or failures. You give up  or avoid trying altogether so you can’t fail or be judged.
  • A Fixed Mindset is outcomes-driven and  sees failure as wasted effort.

Whereas a Growth Mindset…. sees challenges, problems and failures as opportunities, feedback, or at worst temporary setbacks.

Obliterate your Fixed Mindset and develop your  Growth Mindset to steer your life in the directions you want and MOST IMPORTANTLY … stay the course and appreciate the journey.

The First Step!!

Download our Needs Profile to understand your unique needs. Then come straight back to understand how to use them in developing your Growth Mindset.

Choice Theory Supports a Growth Mindset

Choice Theory helps you understand how your Fixed Mindset developed and how to move into a Growth Mindset using the five  basic needs:

  • Survival
  • Love and belonging,
  • Fun,
  • Power
  • Freedom

Survival Needs

A high need for survival means you will not want to take risks or make mistakes. You will follow paths that are easy, familiar and less risky.

To move towards growth

  • Invest time in back-up plans and a safety net
  • Research your decisions carefully
  • Get feedback from others who you respect

Fun Needs

SURE … your need for fun is about amusement … but it is also about learning. A love of learning for learning sake goes hand in hand with a Growth Mindset. It’s important you give yourself, your loved ones and particularly your children the space and the encouragement to learn without criticism and judgement. Fear of failure and mistakes destroys a love of learning.

Young children are allowed to experience the wonder of learning and have fun doing it. As you progress towards adulthood learning becomes results driven. All the joy is sucked out of learning and mistakes are avoided at all costs.

To move towards growth

  • Create your own schedule as much as you can and change it up to keep it fun
  • Allow yourself the freedom to learn
  • Believe there is always time for the things you love
  • Find the fun factor in everything you do

Freedom Needs

  • Allow yourself the freedom to do things your way
  • Allow yourself some space for freedom however you can within your life
  • Shore up your boundaries against people and situations who try to control you

Love and Belonging Needs

A Fixed Mindset can impact the social and emotional areas of your life.

  • “I’m not a team player”
  • “I’m no good in social situations”
  • “People always end up hurting me”

These are all chosen thoughts that get in the way of your L & B needs. Anyone can learn how to work and play well with others.

If you score high in L & B developing a Growth Mindset around the way you interact with others is important.

Power Needs

A high need for Power can get in the way and overtake everything else. In Choice Theory your need for Power is your need for internal power through acknowledgement, achievement, influence and doing things of worth.

You tend to do things that you can excel at, avoiding things that challenge you too much. You give up when the going gets tough and fear looking like a fool.  If you couple this with a high need for survival, you have powerful ingredients to create a Fixed Mindset, but it doesn’t have to be that way!

Use your thoughts and those around you to invest in getting good rather than simply looking good. Continually remind yourself it’s safe to do this.

Obliterate your Fixed MindsetChoice Theory Change

A Fixed Mindset can be changed because it is just a belief, or series of beliefs that you have developed over time …  due to judgements and comparisons made by yourself and others.

Choice theory is an excellent lens through which to view a Fixed Mindset and turn it around. In order to overcome a Fixed Mindset the most important needs to unpack are your need for Power and Survival.

Being aware of your Needs Profile and the behaviours you are using to meet those needs is the key to turning a Fixed Mindset around. You can’t change the needs you were born with …but you can change the behaviours you learned to meet and protect those needs.

A Fixed Mindset works a little in meeting your needs, but a Growth Mindset will open up all sorts of possibilities and pathways for meeting your needs … and will ensure you have the greatest possibility for success and happiness.

Thanks for reading 😊

As always if you have any questions, comments or feedback we would love to hear from you in the comments below. Your comments help others by your sharing and they also help this post to rank in Google where people can find it amongst all the online noise. So if this is something you think is valuable please take the time to leave a comment below before you go.

Thanks again

Deb🌻

22 Comments

  1. I found your article very useful and informative. I have learnt a lot from your post.I have a growth mindset as i am always willing to learn new things  and can’t focus on only one thing.I am happy to take risks and accepting challenges . 

    Mostly people have a fixed mindset and they focus on any particular thing  .They can’t take risk and afraid of failure. 

    Well Thanks for sharing this great article on a fixed mindset .

    Keep up the good work!

  2. Hi Deb,

    I am fascinated by the concept of Choice Theory.  I fear that I may have had a Fixed Mindset for quite some time, and it is getting in the way of my happiness.

    In order to encourage a Growth Mindset, is meditation ever recommended for positive reinforcement?  What about hypnosis?

    I would be interested in knowing more.

    Regards,

    Michael

    1. Hi Michael, I’m sure both of those things would be useful, however Choice Theory can be implemented in everyone’s life on a conscious level. It’s all about awareness and a willingness to see most of live as subjective and just our perception rather than objective truth. Until now there have only been books to refer to on Choice Theory or face to face training, however my husband and I are developing online courses. You can receive daily choice theory memes and be updated once courses go live  here.

  3. Thank you for posting this amazing Article. I now understand the reason why a friend I have been trying to introduce to Wealthy Affiliate is finding it difficult to comprehend. He just couldn’t believe the online marketing without having a Warehouse. People with fixed mindset seems to doubt alot. I personally, I have a Growth Mindset and I will have to pay more attention to my Children to understand what kind of mindset they have now that they are still young. Regards

    1. Excellent. Children are like sponges and generally believe whatever their parents tell them so as parents we have a choice to help our children towards a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

  4. Hi Deb,

    Your post is such an eye-opener! 

    In what you are calling the continuum between a fixed and a growth mindset, I’ve been able to trace within my own life instances where I’ve been experiencing each of these. Many are the times when I’ve had a fixed mindset whenever my projects hit a dead end or fail or become unsustainable. 

    On the other hand, I’ve in some instances, especially of late, experienced great moments of a growth mindset whenever I’ve been trying to combat dire needs arising from failures in business. I really have liked your article as it has given me new hope. 

    I’ve learned that no matter the circumstances, I must not fail to retrain my mind and align it unto achieving better results and conquer failure or setbacks. Right now my strongest motivator is survival, then freedom, followed by love and belonging. Power and fun are at the least end. 

    Keep equipping us!

    .

    Boniface

    1. Thanks Boniface. You’re right that it is such an eye opener to know that our beliefs about ourselves can be changed simply by changing our mind. Simple in  theory but not so simple to practice as it requires consistent investment to keep our mindset on a growth trajectory. I still hear my mother’s words that I’m lazy, careless and clumsy. Critical parents are not good for developing a growth mindset.

  5. Hello, I really want to first appreciate your effort in putting this great website together and writing this article. i would want to believe that the mind is the greatest key to the unlocking of many things including the ability to do things that on could not do on previous occasions. the mind is so powerful

  6. Absolutely fascinating concept and quite complementary to work I have been doing with the Arbinger Institute on Outward Mindset and Outward Leadership.  The themes are quite similar with slightly different nuances. My studies are in regard to making social, professional and community interaction productive and constructive.  Generally about making the world a better place.

    Thanks I enjoyed this and will definitely be back to see how this develops.

    Hamish🧐

    1. Interesting Hamish. Now I will have to research Outward Mindset and Outward Leadership, which sounds close to Glasser’s Lead Management.

  7. Absolutely fascinating concept and quite complementary to work I have been doing with the Arbinger Institute on Outward Mindset and Outward Leadership.  The themes are quite similar with slightly different nuances. My studies are in regard to making social, professional and community interaction productive and constructive.  Generally about making the world a better place.

    Thanks I enjoyed this and will definitely be back to see how this develops.

    Hamish🧐

  8. I truly need to initially value your exertion in assembling this incredible site and composing this article. Many thanks for the extraordinary article about the Fixed Mindset. I have a development mindset as I am continually ready to learn new things and can’t concentrate on just a single thing. I am glad to face challenges and acknowledging demands. Many people have a fixed mindset and they center around a specific thing. I must say that this article is very helpful and informative. I want to share this article on my social media and I think if I share your article on my social media everyone will know about it. Thanks for sharing this beautiful article on a fixed mindset. Good Luck!

  9. I love your expression –  a fixed mindset is a barrier to personal growth – for growth we must approach various task with the right mindset. You rightly identified the strength of our internal power when you spoke about our need for power.
    With a fixed mindset, harnessing our internal strength is virtually impossible

  10. A very interesting look into why many people react to situations of personal growth in a negative way. This can help those of us with a “Growth Mindset” to better understand those who are not of the same mindset as ours. Instead of seeing these people as lazy or negative towards improvement, these guidelines can help us to better approach a solution to those we know that are stuck in the Fixed Mindset.

    I can say without any doubt that a person with a growth mindset WILL experience failures along the way to a better goal. However those in this mindset embrace the failures because we see them as learning opportunities. There has never been a successful entrepreneur who has never experienced failure. Now with the information of this post we can help change those with a fixed mindset to a more growth one. – Thank you.

  11. Hi, Deb!

    Thank you for posting this amazing article. I find your article very useful and informative. I have learnt a lot from your post.

    You have posted about choice theory. From the post I have learned growth mindset can be helpful for success because it widens our outlook and show us various path of success. Your review is really essential for my future life.

    Thanks again for sharing this great article on a fixed and groth mindset . Truly it is educative and also helpful for anyone. So I decided to share your post with my friends. They will be benefitted reading the article. They will share their opinion with you soon.

  12. Many thanks for the extraordinary article about the Fixed Mindset. I have a development mindset as I am continually ready to learn new things and can’t concentrate on just a single thing. I am glad to face challenges and acknowledging demands. Many people have a fixed mindset and they center around a specific thing.Thanks for sharing this beautiful article on a fixed mindset. Good Luck!

  13. Hello, Your guide is very useful. While reading I know that A growth mindset interprets challenges, problems and failures as opportunities, feedback, or at worst temporary setbacks, while a fixed mindset tends to view them as evidence of shortcomings and may give up or avoid trying something altogether in order not to fail or not to be judged. Now I will develop growth mindset. Thanks for updating awesome knowledge.

  14. Hey there! Thank you so much for sharing such inspiring article. Actually you are very true. If we want to do something in our life, either small or big, we have to fix our mind and focus on that thing. We should have faith in ourselves. We should take challenges and never fear off completing those. Sometimes we become nervous and suffer from confusion of taking steps, and sometimes also be afraid. But inside by inside we know that if we can face it the result is very sweet. So we mustn’t think how tough will it be to do the work, rather we should think about the sweet result we will get after completing the task and move on.

  15. Hi Deb, the first time I came across growth mind-set was only last year, I remember almost being critical towards it because I didn’t see the need of understanding what it was. After reading through your article, I realised that it is key to how we assess situations and gain knowledge as individuals. I was always limiting myself in many ways and saying that there were certain goals I could not accomplish and with the fixed mindset I just accepted the situation. After learning about the growth-mindset and catching myself whenever I get negative about some situations, I have turned a few things around in my life. I think it’s still a work in progress, but I am definitely in a better place than I was before.

    1. Hi Michelle
      Yes Fixed and Growth Mindsets were new concepts for me too, until recently. It’s amazing what we can miss 🙂 I recognise that I have had a bit of a Fixed Mindset (It’s a continuum), but it was more about addressing negative self talk for me, rather than being stopped from doing what I want to do. I’m glad that the article has helped you and I’d love to know how you found your way here?

      Thanks for your comment

      Kind regards
      Deb

  16. Hi Deb, absolutely loved this article and so happy I bumped into it. I feel very passionate about personal growth and development and you gave me some good eye openers there.

    Regarding children and the way we learn and how it changes when we grow older is a really good one. It reminds me how children get educated in Montessori education. I believe their belief is that first a child has to feel belonged and happy and the learning will gravitate automatically rather than enforced as you mentioned in your article. 

    I never heard of the comparison of fixed and growth mindset but will keep the 2 in mind with me now in the future.

    I believe I had a more fixed mindset when I was younger but worked very hard towards personal development to change this to a growth mindset.

    I like to thank you for sharing this article today, It definitely Inspired be and enriched my perspective.

  17. Hi Deb, absolutely loved this article and so happy I bumped into it. I feel very passionate about personal growth and development and you gave me some good eye openers there.

    Regarding children and the way we learn and how it changes when we grow older is a really good one. It reminds me how children get educated in Montessori education. I believe their belief is that first a child has to feel belonged and happy and the learning will gravitate automatically rather than enforced as you mentioned in your article. 

    I never heard of the comparison of fixed and growth mindset but will keep the 2 in mind with me now in the future.

    I believe I had a more fixed mindset when I was younger but worked very hard towards personal development to change this to a growth mindset.

    I like to thank you for sharing this article today, It definitely Inspired be and enriched my perspective.

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