How To Be Your Best Self

How T Be Your Best Self

Be Your Best SelfHave you ever asked yourself how you could  be your best self? I have, and I used to think that meant struggle but no more.

Now I believe that the first step to being the best you can be is to take words like struggle, hard, strive, work etc., out of the equation.

I was reading a blog post today by a couple of very popular bloggers and they have clearly come to a very different conclusion about this. They wrote, “YOU need to do HARD things to be HAPPY in life”. They go on to say this is because, “the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life.”

Is this true?

Is going hard the best way?

Why do you want to be your best self?

Because you believe it will bring you happiness.

Is struggle your idea of happiness?

Can the destination really be different to the journey?

Choices

HappinessThink of every choice you make as a decision to put your boat in the water and paddle either with the current or against the current. Going with the current is going to get you where we want to go a lot faster and a lot more easily than paddling against it.

Paddling with the current is working with your needs profile and is how you will most effectively meet your needs, because that’s what life is all about. Everything you do everyday is an attempt to meet a need.

But what if what you want is against the current? There are infinite ways to meet your needs and you will find plenty of options when you choose to go with the current. Go with the flow of your life, don’t try and go against it.

You can never be your best self while you are forcing your way against the flow of your life.

Paddling against the current can seem like the only option but you are chasing a want rather than a need.

A want is something that you think will make you happy or at least prevent pain, a need is something that will actually make you happy.

It might seem easier to hang on to destructive habits or a lack of healthy habits like exercise, but that’s paddling against the current. No one needs to be unhealthy and endure all the associated outcomes. What keeps you heading in that direction is all the stories you are telling yourself about why your choices are a good idea.

  • I don’t care about my weight
  • I’ve tried everything and nothing works
  • I can’t give up smoking
  • I need alcohol to wind down
  • I hate exercise

The Best Way to Make Change is as Comfortably as Possible

How T Be Your Best SelfThere’s a process of creating new habits and making new neural pathways which can seem uncomfortable but a lot of that discomfort comes down to how you think about it. If you tell yourself something is hard it will be hard. If you think what you’re doing is enjoyable it will be. Maybe not at once, but it will happen.

Unless you actively use your mind to be your biggest supporter, it will be your biggest challenger. Unless you turn your thoughts to supporting your actions you’re unlikely to be successful with them in the long term.

If you’re trying to lose weight and you keep telling yourself that you miss your treats, your food is boring, or it’s not fair that you can’t eat like your skinny sister, you probably won’t succeed. Change your thoughts to something that is true for you but supports your goal.

“I miss my treats,” ➡️ “I’m finding some really nice new snack food that keeps me losing weight (and follow up with action to do that)

“This food is boring,”  ➡️  “I’m finding some really interesting new food I can eat.” (and follow up with action to do that)

“It’s not fair that I can’t eat like my skinny sister.” ➡️  “I can have anything I want in small quantities.”

Building skills through practise, changes something from hard to easy and changing your MINDSET is the hardest thing you need to do!

Repetition is the way that your body, including your brain learns. Repeated thoughts and actions will become your reality.

Change requires commitment but it will only be as hard as you make it. By heading with the current towards your needs, rather than chasing what you think you want, you will become your best self and find happiness faster.

For clarity around your particular needs you can download a needs profile checklist in the sidebar.

If you are feeling stressed and anxious check out our online course here.

Thanks for reading 😊

As always if you have any questions, comments or feedback we would love to hear from you in the comments below. Your comments help others by your sharing and they also help this post to rank in Google where people can find it amongst all the online noise. So if this is something you think is valuable please take the time to leave a comment below before you go.

Thanks again

Deb🌻

How to Obliterate Your Fixed Mindset!

Change our thoughts change our life
The Power of your Thoughts

Your Fixed Mindset Is Holding You Back!

Your Fixed Mindset will have you believing that your success or failure is the result of your traits … traits that you were born with and can do nothing about.

If that’s your reality what do you do?

You AVOID!!

  • You avoid singing because someone said you can’t sing
  • You avoid anything creative because … you can’t …draw…paint…act…fill in the blank ______
  • You avoid people because you “aren’t good with people”
  • You can’t cook, garden, or do anything technical .. just because something went wrong in the past?
  • You aren’t good at study so you don’t
  • …The list goes on and on

The End Result? 

You seriously reduce your ability to meet your needs, live the life you want and be your best self.

A Growth Mindset vs a Fixed Mindset

  • A Fixed Mindset sees challenges as evidence of shortcomings or failures. You give up  or avoid trying altogether so you can’t fail or be judged
  • A Fixed Mindset is outcomes-driven and  sees failure as wasted effort.

Whereas a Growth Mindset…. sees challenges, problems and failures as opportunities, feedback, or at worst temporary setbacks.

Obliterate your Fixed Mindset and develop your  Growth Mindset to steer your life in the directions you want and MOST IMPORTANTLY … stay the course and appreciate the journey.

The First Step!!

Download our Needs Profile to understand your unique needs. Then come straight back to understand how to use them in developing your Growth Mindset.

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